In this time of physical distancing and uncertainty, creating and maintaining authentic connection with ourselves and others will be more important than ever. Sharing circles, which are safe spaces to share what is alive in us and to deeply listen to others, are one way of fostering this. If you would like to know more about the history and benefits of circles click here.
Circles have been serving humanity for thousands of years and now we humans have figured out how to run them virtually. This How to Run Your Own Virtual Circle lays out a framework and tips for how to run your own virtual sharing circle.
If you would like to paticipate in a Sharing Circle before you run you own, myself and other co-facilitators are hosting a series of free virtual sharing circles over the coming weeks, open to anyone. You can book your free spot for the next Virtual Sharing Circle here.
This guide covers the following:
This is a work in process so please let us know your feedback by adding a comment at the end of this guide or emailing connect@naimaritter.com.
Preparing the Virtual Circle
As you prepare to host a virtual circle, a few things to consider are:
1. Hosting Platform
This is the platform where you host the virtual circle. These are the options I would recommend:
- Zoom: I typically use Zoom Pro. The basic version of Zoom allows you to host up to 100 participants but limits you to 40 minute calls. Zoom Pro, which costs $15/month extends the meeting duration limit to 24 hrs.
- Google+ Hangout: Free for up to 25 participants. Simply create the event in your google calendar, add the conferencing option in the event, open the link in Chrome browser, and share the link with those you wish to invite.
- Skype can also work if you can get the skype names for all the people who will join your circle.
2. Announcing the Circle
Once you have decided the date and time, you can begin to announce it among your networks. You can share on your social media platforms, through email, or word of mouth. In your invitation, you can ask participants to come prepared with pen and paper (for self reflection activity) and incense (as a nice way to ground into the present moment before starting the sharing circle).
Below is a sample blurb and graphic that you can use:
Sample Text for Invitation
Connecting in the Time of Coronavirus
Feeling stressed out, anxious about the future, or lonely? Many of us are.
Creating and maintaining authentic connection will be critical during these months. One way of doing this is through sharing circles, which are safe spaces to share what is alive in us and to deeply listen to others.
Circles have been serving humanity for thousands of years and now we humans have created a way of running them virtually.
Come join a free virtual sharing circle [add date, time, hosting link].
And if after experiencing a Sharing Circle you feel called to offer this experience to others, take a look at the free “How to Run Your Own Virtual Circle” Guide and start organizing these for your own networks!
For more resources, head to this open-source Google Drive folder containing many more icons, logos, backgrounds, and information for you to use. Big shout out to Tofu Creatives for their amazing design work on all this!
Circle Agreements
One of the most important components of a virtual circle is co-creating a space that feels safe so that everyone can openly share. We do this through clear agreements and guidelines, including:
- Confidentiality: Anything that is shared in circle, remains in the circle. If you want to connect with someone regarding something that was shared after the circle is over, please check in with that person to make sure that is ok.
- Sharing: Please share succinctly, being conscious of time and others who may want to share. (You may want to set time limits of a few minutes for each person).
- Owning it: When you share, please be sure to speak from your own experience instead of generalizing.
- Deep Listening: Practice listening deeply to others with respect and curiosity rather than thinking about what you are going to say. Be curious about your own sharing and let your words arise from the present moment. Let go of any judgements that may arise and no advice, commenting or replying after someone else shares.
It can be powerful for every person on the call to raise their hand to acknowledge and agree to these guidelines for all to see. We sometimes also want to show support to someone who is sharing or let her/him know that what they are saying resonates with us. In order to do this without interrupting the group, we can use hand gestures. For instance, we can shimmer our fingers to signal “yay” or “I agree.” We can hold a hand over our heart to acknowledge pain or to signal “I have experienced that too.”
You may also want to mention that all emotions are welcome. It is natural for them to ebb and flow during a circle. Tears are just as sacred and embraced as laughter. You can remind attendees that uncomfortable feelings are a natural part of any transformation process.
These are just some examples of agreements and guidelines. Feel free to make adjustments but remember to always include a mention of confidentiality. You can also ask the group if anyone would like to propose an additional agreement. This is a wonderful opportunity for co-creation.
Sample Virtual Circle Format
The virtual circle has a simple format that allows it to flow.
The basic format is as follows:
- Open the circle and check-ins
- Grounding in present moment
- Share guidelines and agreements
- Introduce intention/theme/question for this circle
- Sharing circle / activity
- Check-out and closing the circle
Let’s explore each of these in more detail as it relates to the moment of time we are in:
1. Opening the circle and check-ins:
Opening the virtual circle with a check-in allows for everyone’s voice to be heard, one at a time, naturally easing people into a sharing circle environment. One way to do this is to invite everyone to share their name, where they are calling from, and their “inner weather ” (a method of using the imagery of nature/weather as a way to express how we are feeling inside). For instance one might say “my inner weather is cloudy with a bit of sun shining through” to express they are feeling in relatively low mood but with some hope that things will get better.
2. Connecting to Present Moment
With everything going on in the external world, it will be important to help attendees ground themselves in the present moment of this sharing space. Some ideas include:
- Invite everyone to light some incense (if you mentioned preparing incense in the invitation details)
- Invite everyone to begin to gently tap on their bodies from their heads down to the feet.
- Guide everyone through taking 3 big deep breaths together
- Lead everyone through a short guided meditation or relaxation
3. Guidelines and agreements:
At this point you can share the guidelines and agreements. Remember to ask everyone to show they agree to these through some kind of hand signal.
4. Introduce intention/theme/question for this circle:
You can now introduce the intention, theme or question for this virtual circle. As we are currently in the time of the Coronavirus, suggestions include:
- What are you currently most stressed/worried/anxious about? This can be specifically related to the virus and/or in relation to career, family, relationship, health, etc. Simply offering this safe space of sharing and listening can be extremely powerful, healing, and comforting.
What do you always wish you had more time for? For example reading, yoga, meditation, repairing, cooking, learning, planting, creating. Offer the context that we often complain about a lack of time. Now is an opportunity to be creative about the extra time that many of us now have at home, instead of agitating over the latest piece of news.
What do you need right now? What is in your power/how can you support yourself to meet that need?
What does your community need? What is in your power/how can you support your community in meeting this need?
How can you spread light in this time of darkness?
Feel free to come up with your own questions. See my other blog on how to run your own in-person circle for more theme ideas.
I typically give participants a few minutes to jot down on paper their answers to these questions (say 30 secs for each question) before moving into group sharing. I recommend not asking more than 3 questions as it can become too much.
5. Group Sharing
For the group sharing, you can ask if anyone wants to go first. I typically invite participants to share in order of their first name to create a natural flow of sharing. If you do it this way, remember to offer the opportunity to pass if that person is not ready to share yet.
You can set a certain time limit per share (e.g. 2-5 mins, depending on your group size) and use a bell or other gentle sound/hand sign to let attendees know when their time is up. Sometimes time limits are not needed and you can just go with the flow of the group.
Repeat this process for each question!
Once everyone has shared, you can then offer an “open space” for anyone to respond/react to anything shared that resonated with them. For instance someone may want to thank someone else for sharing so openly about something very vulnerable or let someone else know that what they shared helped give him/her a different perspective. Remind participants to speak from their own experience and not offer direct advice/coaching, etc.
6. Check-out and closing:
There are several ways to know when a circle comes to a close: a) once a specific time limit is up, b) once everyone has been able to share, or c) when it naturally feels like discussion has come to an end.
Checking-out again allows for every voice to be heard and gives everyone a chance to reflect on what they just experienced. This also allows attendees to integrate and ground their experience as they transition towards leaving the space.
Ideas for checking out include: share how your inner weather/how you are feeling now; share three things you are grateful for, share one thing you are taking away from this circle; share something you heard today that resonated for you.
Other ideas to include in closing include: ask if anyone wants to share anything, announce your next circle.
Final words
Once you have closed the circle, you can encourage participants to spread the word about circles and to consider hosting their own virtual circle for others. You can explain the huge need for such spaces right now and let them know about this guide to help them through the facilitation journey.
As a species we are facing a great moment of crisis- and of opportunity. We have the power to choose how we respond and how we co-create the future. Do we choose to sit helpless at home, disconnected from our inner power and our creative spirit? Or do we come together, creatively finding ways to connect, to find joy, and to spread the light in this moment of darkness?
I believe this crisis is not only an incredible opportunity but also an individual and communal responsibility to rise up to this occasion, find our power, and harness our collective energy for the highest good of all. Circles can help us manifest this.
Much love and light to all,
Naima
Ps- Please share any comments or feedback on this guide as is it still a work in progress!