“We need to remember how to play.”
This was the message that kept coming up during a recent Ayahuasca experience I had in Costa Rica. For those who are unfamiliar with Ayahuasca, it is a sacred plant medicine from the South American Amazon, which indigenous tribes have been using for thousands of years. It brings unconscious and seemingly other-worldly processes to surface, which enables you to work with it while the effects last. In my own experience, it often feels like opening a gateway of communication between the drinker and Pachamama, or the larger universe.
Quite early on during this ayahuasca journey, I noticed my mind trying to analyze every visual that came up, to which I then got a “message” reprimanding me for being so stuck in my head. She (Ayahuasca) said to just let go and enjoy what I was seeing without rationalizing it. So I did, and then she gave me an amazing spectacle of colors, sparkles, tiny bubbles, and spirals. And within that, the words “PLAY!” “LET’S PLAY!” kept bubbling up. I got memory flashes of my father playing with my sister and I and it was in that moment that I realized that when we play and have fun, we are completely absorbed in the present moment. When we play, we are enjoying life, not rationalizing, not analyzing; we are just being.
If you think about our modern lifestyle, we take ourselves so seriously. We constantly criticize our ‘failures.’ We stress ourselves doing work and accomplishing tasks. We see politics turning into battlegrounds.
What would be possible if we allowed ourselves to take things a bit more lightly? How might things be different if we added a bit more play, humour and fun into our lives and society?
Play can be defined as a self-chosen activity driven by pleasure, in which means are more valued than ends. Fun is one of the basic elements of play and can be thought of in terms of “flow.” When you become really absorbed in an activity you enjoy, it is said that you experience being in a state of “flow”, in which your mind is in a near meditative state.
Going into this state of “flow” is a natural human drive that commences at a young age, enabling children to learn about themselves and the world around them. But play is important throughout our lives, not just during early childhood. In adults, it can enhance creativity, improve relationships, and reduce stress and memory loss. Yet fun and play often seems to disappear in adult life, replaced by more “serious activities” such as academic performance and work. The desire to play is also often outweighed by feelings of guilt because others are not having fun or self-consciousness in that being playful could be seen as childish.
Our modern society needs to realize that play and fun are not a waste of time. The benefits of playing and having fun are manyfold:
It enhances cognitive capacity, creativity, and learning
Kids often learn best when they are having fun- a concept that applies to adults, as well. You learn better when you’re in a relaxed and playful mood. Fun activities that challenge the brain can improve concentration and prevent memory problems. Play can also stimulate your imagination, helping you adapt and solve problems.
It reduces stress and keeps you healthy
Having fun releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals, which promote an overall sense of well-being and can even relieve pain. Studies also show that that spontaneous laughter has a stress-buffering effect that helps us better cope with stress. Play can boost your energy and vitality and even improve your resistance to disease, helping you function at your best. We are measurably duller and edgier when we do not make time for play and fun in our lives.
It strengthens romantic relationships
Having fun gives opportunities to connect. Studies show that having fun together creates experiences for building trust and communication. Laughing together sends the message “we are alike, we share values.” Relationship experts from the Seattle’s Gottman Research Institute found that couples who are happy know how to have fun together. Play can also heal disagreements, resentments, and hurts. Through playing regularly, we can learn to feel safe and trust each other.
It supports friendships
Play is often social in nature, strengthening old friendships and rewarding us with new ones. When we play, we learn to read others’ intentions as well as how to deflect and defuse conflict. This explains how play contributes to our composure which in turn, spreads to our social circles. Friendliness and expressing joy are attractive qualities to others.
It improves work relations and job satisfaction
Laughing and having fun at work can help create connections with colleagues. Engaging in fun activities together creates a shared history and allow workmates to relate and identify with co-workers better. In addition, it has been proven that organizations that encourage playfulness have an easier time recruiting and retaining good staff.
It helps you flow with life
Play trains the body and mind in many ways. Given the uncertainties and threats that humans faced for most of history, it seems clear why play has survived in us. Having a sense of spontaneity, creativity, and good social judgement enabled people to get through difficult circumstances. While the threats and uncertainties we face today may differ from those of the past, being able to respond gracefully and creatively to whatever the future might bring are undeniably useful characteristics to have.
So how can we incorporate more fun and play into our lives?
It’s never too late to develop your playful, humorous side. First, you can ask yourself the following questions:
- What are some of the things that used to bring you joy that you are not doing today?
- What are some of the things you enjoy today that you wish you could do more?
Then, you can reclaim your inner child by setting aside regular, quality playtime. As an adult, play is is a time to forget about commitments and to be social in an unstructured, creative way. Do not intend to accomplish any goal, just focus your play on the actual experience. There shouldn’t be any point to the activity beyond enjoying yourself and having fun.
Here are some ideas for how you might have fun:
- Go for a bike ride with no destination in mind
- Goof off with friends or a partner
- Throw a frisbee on the beach
- Play fetch with a dog
- Dance to your favorite music
- Do some creative cooking
- Host a game night with friends or family.
- Organize a night out with work colleagues
- Gather a group to sing karaoke
- Pick up a paintbrush, pencil and see what flows out
- Go out bowling, playing pool, or miniature golf
- Take a leisurely walk in a park
Some argue that play is a state of mind; a certain attitude we can incorporate into any and every activity. By making a conscious effort to incorporate more fun and play into your daily interactions, you can reap oodles of intellectual, emotional, and social benefits throughout life.
So, how are you going to play?